RFL'01 Week 7 in Review |
Ringwald's Full Lips | Week 7 | October 30, 2001 |
**** RFL WEEK IN REVIEW **** |
I have a sneaking suspicion that we have already paid homage to the ''lovely'' Molly Ringwald in our RFL WIR past. I guess one of the benefits of spinning off a new league would be that it'd have an entirely new acronym. Ali could take over the venerable ''RFL'' franchise. I could run with something entirely fresh and new... like BYOB or STD or ASAP or AEKDB.
HALFWAY HOME
Will anyone be able to stop Wally's Minions? The big rivalry game comes
in Week 13 - against Cals in the clash of self-proclaimed gurus.
Boobies! have dropped their last 2, but still should have enough ammo to
run with the Minions. And don't be surprised if Richard's HaHT takes
down Wally in Week 14. Led by Favre, Edgerrin and LaDainian... all
Richard needs is a decent game from his WRs to defeat the Minions. What
of Wally's schedule from Week 8 to 12? None of Brodz, Shiv, Wang, JoePa
or John will be expected to put up much of a fight.
Kevin and Wang are still lurking 1 game behind Wally. Kevin has already
lost to the Minions. Wang will take his beating in 3 weeks. Be sure to
check out this week's WAGGLE to see a projection on who should be in the
playoffs at the end of the regular season.
EVERY TIME YOU GO TO THE JOHN, YOU LOSE IQ POINTS
The Breakfast Club (15 team wins) division only managed 1 win against the Pretty in Pink (15) division, while the Teaching Mrs. Tingle (13) division split their 4 contests against the Sixteen Candles (13) division.
Highest scoring team: Mahatma's Minions - 51.9 ppg
Lowest scoring team: Blue Collar Workers - 20.1 ppg
Toughest defense: Mahatma's Minions - 26.1 ppg
Softest defense: Black Knights of the Charles - 48.4 ppg
League scoring average: 35.7 ppg (last year 38.7)
JoePa is now the only team to've claimed the 3 QB bonus points every single week.
Getting to the bloody point... on to WIR #7!
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**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
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Short-Changed Bastards of Persia 37
Jersey Juggernauts 46
With a 3 pt lead and Bettis vs. Heinz in MNF action, the Jersey
Juggernauts were feeling pretty smug about this GOTW instant classic.
And after Bettis took it to the house on PIT's 1st drive, things were
looking even more grim for Ali and his Short-Changed Bastards of Persia.
But then Heinz hit for some big yardage on an end around - and then
Kordell actually threw a TD pass (to Heinz!)! John's whole world was
suddenly turned upside-down! But then the Bus hit paydirt again, hit the
50 yard mark, and Heinz didn't get any touches after his TD. Winning the
Green-McNabb matchup 17-0 was the kill-shot for John. Even though Ali
won the WR and PK pairings (and was all-square at RB and TE), he could
not make up the devastating 17-pt QB deficit. Both of these clubs are
now 4-3, but surprisingly... neither is projected to make the playoffs!
Scrub loss for Ali (2-1)
mcnabb 0 ma'son 6 garner 9 moss 6 hward 9 kbrady 0 hall 7
green 17 amos 0 bus 15 thrash 0 mhar'son 9 ej'son 0 hollis 5
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Blue Collar Workers 10
Cleveland Steamers 45
Everything was setup for Blue Collar Workers' 2nd upset of the season... Vesh was missing his 2 starting RBs (AGreen and JJackson), Vesh benched his #1 WR (JSmith), Brad had finally acquired a decent RB (PHolmes), and Brad had finally put together a pair of serviceable WRs (DTerrell/DJackson and PPrice). Well... Brad started Kennison and Stokes over Terrell/Jackson and Price (net loss of 27 pts). And Brad also started Weinker's 0 over Kitna's 9. Those 36 bench points turned a 46-45 win into a crushing 45-10 defeat. Emmitt started his 3rd game of the season for Cleveland Steamers and doubled his season pt total from 3 to 6. Going with 2 of the Pats' starting WRs gave Vesh a blackjack. Obafemi Ayanbadejo made his 2001 debut in RFL - picking up blitzes well enough for Vesh to post 36 aerial assault points. At 3-4 Vesh must be reconsidered as a playoff spot contender.
weinke 0 priest 3 lcenters 0 ek'son 0 jj 0 becht 0 cortez 7
greasy 9 emmitt 3 obafemi 0 patten 9 trb'n 12 conwell 6 stover 6
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Mahatma's Minions 61
Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids 33
After GM Wally took Interim Head Coach Joebob to task over Mahatma's Minions' poor performances of late in the passing game, one could see the instant results reflected in the performances of Minions Mark, Rod and Isaac on Sunday. These 3 combined to average 12 ppg over the last 4 weeks. Inspired by a pep talk from Wally on Sunday, the trio went 30 over that average to hang a 42 on Adam's Rappin' Rabbis. Adam's squad put up a very respectable 33, but injuries continue to plague RRR. The ghosts of Jamal Lewis and Sylvester Morris continue to haunt Adam's roster - and even 'roid induced rages have not been able to get the Rabbis to rap regally. Tiki's gimpiness and Marcvus' ouchies are the latest sore spots for Adam. Trung Candidate's performances of late have the Rams offering MFaulk to the Patsies for KFaulk and a cauldron of Legals' chowder.
brunell 12 trung 12 dayne 0 rod 15 isaac 15 walls 0 elam 7
jgarcia 9 tiki 3 chpmn 0 hakim 6 moulds 3 fjones 6 mare 6
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Having a Hard Time 29
Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant 35
Wang had a 15 pt edge going into Muy Madness action, but Richard had
McNair and Wycheck. Sure enough... McNair (Wang's 5th round pick this
year) hit Wycheck for a TD on the 1st play of the 2nd quarter - striking
dread into the heart of his former mentor. As the MNF action progressed,
Wang's 6 pt lead was in further jeopardy - as McNair and Wycheck closed
in on their respective 200 and 50 yard levels. Late in the 4th quarter,
McNair tried to run in a TD from the 3 - but was stopped at the 1. On
4th and goal from the 1, McNair intended to deflect his pass off a PIT
safety to Wycheck... but Wycheck was hauled down by the DE, and PIT's NT
made the interception! Having a Hard Time was led by 17 from Edgerrin
and V-jagt, but a Sunday morning phone call benching MWestbrook in favor
of TTaylor cost Richard this game. The LaDainian for Gannon trade looked
quite overhyped this week.
Scrub win for Wang (1-1)
mcnair 3 ejames 8 ltom'son 3 ttaylor 0 dhayes 0 wycheck 6 v'jagt 9
gannon 0 cmartin 9 lsmith 6 keyshawn 3 boston 6 byron 0 g'tica 11
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Boobies! 36
Invasive Species 41
Boobies! was 3-2. Now they're 3-4! Invasive Species was 0-3. Now they're
4-3! My, my, my... the textbook definition of 2 teams going in the
opposite direction. Starting Duckie over Booba at TE didn't help Cals'
cause. Cals was trying to figure out a way to get Alstott's 24 into his
starting lineup, but apparently the game has truly passed him by - as
this most simple trick of roster manipulation slipped through his
fingers. Getting 15 from Hearst was nice, but when Flutie outscores
Culpepper... it was not meant to be. Halfway through the season... Rod
Gardner has as many WR pts in 3 starts (24) as RMoss has in 7 starts!
Stan's shrewd GM skills were also brought to light - as JStew backup
Lamont scored the 8-ball which proved to be the difference in this
contest. Stan was also able to survive a mere 3 pts from TOwens and RB
#2 - as Maurice sat out this one.
Scrub loss for Cals (0-2)
c'pep 5 hearst 15 antowain 3 holt 9 pinky 0 duckie X akers 4
flute 12 lwarren 8 ogary 0 towens 3 rgardner 6 dclark 3 richey 9
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Black Knights of the Charles 31
Everyone Go Deep 17
Gary needed 16 from Nedney on Monday Night to pull off a remarkable
come-from-behind victory, but only managed to get 1. Injuries to
JStewart and RWatters (and a bye week for AFreeman) proved to be too
much of a hole for Everyone Go Deep to overcome. Aside from the abysmal
quartet of RBs started in this contest (0 total pts was the expected
outcome), the Black Knights of the Charles won every other positional
matchup. With this victory, JoePa finally passed ''Bear'' Harry on the
all-time RFL wins list. At 2-5 and 3-4 BKotC and EGD both have the look
of 5-9 teams for the moment. Both JoePa and Gary will need to push their
clubs to at least hit 7-7, but 8-6 will perhaps be the cut line. If Fred
Taylor and MBennett come back healthy, JoePa could indeed make a serious
run. Gary needs a fully recovered JStew - and perhaps a full-time job
for newly acquired Dominic Rhodes.
Scrub win for JoePa (2-2)
brooks 12 minor 0 kfaulk 0 muhsin 0 qadry 9 riemer 3 wilkins 7
peyton 10 ejoseph 0 tjones 0 reidel 0 ike 6 hardy 0 nedney 1
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Dude 35
Pimps de la Nast 30
No wonder Shiv was so willing to give his Pimps de la Nast team to Wally
coming out of the Draft! When Foge taped the bullseye securely on Shiv's
back (with the #1 ranking in the FF preseason poll), Shiv knew that he
would not be able to handle the pressure. Knowing that Wally could work
magic with whichever franchise he took over (witness MM's 7-0 start),
Shiv was desperately hoping to avoid his own 0-7 start. Troy Hambrick
and Damon Washington as your starting RBs? Is this some sort of awful
April Fool's joke? When a team gets 9 from Willie Jackson, it should
WIN! At 5-2 Clark must be feeling secure about his place in the
postseason. When you can get 15 from KCollins, that must also feel
pretty damn good! Clark was able to survive getting only 12 pts from his
RBs, WRs and TE. It would appear that Shiv needs more than 18 from his
QB and PK to have a shot at winning a game.
Scrub win for Clark (1-0)
kerry 15 eddie 0 shaun 3 conway 6 booker 3 cam 0 j'kow 8
warner 9 thambrick 0 damon 0 cris 3 wjax 9 chad 0 conway 9
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Fighting Poopy Diapers 36
Uffdalators 64
With Elvis and Couch locked up in detention, Mr. Vernon QBed Baby Brodz'
Fighting Poopy Diapers this week. In the pregame analysis of this
contest, I wrote that Brodz needed at least 18 from T Gonzo to win. I
*meant* to say 38! Getting 18 from Sucks certainly made up for the QB
goose-egg, but when your D gives up 30 to CDillon... you're 96% certain
to lose. Kevin also got standout performances from Amani and Cahney. The
injury-induced revolving door at QB continues for Kevin. JMiller
(surprise surprise) was the latest to join MHasselbeck and TDilfer on
Uffdalators' walking wounded QB list. Rumors of a trade to acquire Rob
Johnson from Gary were quickly quashed by both sides. C Chandler, C
Batch, B Griese, vINTy and S McNair are also reportedly on Kevin's
shortlist regarding potential late-season QB acquisitions. CDillon is
now the #1 RB in total pts.
Scrub loss for Brodz (0-2)
vernon X sdavis 6 pittman 0 graham 0 horn 18 tonyg 9 mort 3
jmiller 0 rw''ms 3 dillon 30 tibrown 0 amani 12 sharpe 3 cahney 16
PLAYOFF PROJECTION
Projecting W-L records for all 16 teams based upon their current scoring averages and remaining schedules (not counting players out on bye weeks, injuries, trades, etc.):
Rank | Current | End of Reg Season |
---|---|---|
1 | Wally 7-0 | Wally 14-0 |
2 | Wang 6-1 | Wang 12-2 |
3 | Kevin 6-1 | Kevin 11-2-1 |
4 | Clark 5-2 | Clark 10-4 |
5 | Richard 4-3 | Cals 8-5-1 |
6 | Stan 4-3 | Richard 8-6 |
7 | John 4-3 | Vesh 8-6 |
8 | Ali 4-3 | Stan 8-6 |
Pretty big gap projected between playoff makers and missers. Look for 1 or 2 projected makers and 1 or 2 projected missers to meet at 7-7.
Rank | Current | End of Reg Season |
---|---|---|
9 | Cals 3-4 | JoePa 5-9 |
10 | Vesh 3-4 | John 5-9 |
11 | Gary 3-4 | Gary 5-9 |
12 | JoePa 2-5 | Ali 5-9 |
13 | Adam 2-5 | Shivan 4-10 |
14 | Brodz 2-5 | Adam 4-10 |
15 | Brad 1-6 | Brodz 3-11 |
16 | Shivan 0-7 | Brad 1-13 |
Wally - Cals and Richard get last 2 shots at stopping 14-0 season
Wang - 2nd if play averages and split with Wally and Kevin
Kevin - should win out after facing Wang and Cals the next 2 weeks
Clark - 2 toughest matchups remaining appear to be Cals and Wang
Richard - key games against Clark and Kevin before Wally showdown
Stan - showdown with Vesh at end, Richard and Kevin are also in way
John - looks like bubbleboy will burst over next 7 weeks
Ali - after Brad... looks like rough final 6 weeks
Cals - should finish strong and finish in top 5
Vesh - favorable schedule in 2nd half of season
Gary - needs 2 or 3 serious upsets in 2nd half to make playoffs
JoePa - tough 4 weeks starts now, needs to win at least 3
Adam - long-distance GM-team relationship doesn't appear healthy
Brodz - RFL GMs have no love for cute Baby Brodz
Brad - ppg should improve, not impossible to win 5 of 7
Shivan - looking to '02, could build on winning record in 2nd half
SCORING STATS
Below is one numerical representation of the scoring so far this season - broken down by position (last season's numbers in parentheses).
QBs: 26 guys, 796 pts /16 /7 = 7.11 ppg per QB (5.85)
RBs: 47 guys, 1189 pts /32 /7 = 5.31 ppg per RB slot (7.01)
WRs: 48 guys, 994 pts /32 /7 = 4.44 ppg per WR slot (4.99)
TEs: 17 guys, 278 pts /16 /7 = 2.48 ppg per TE (1.85)
PKs: 25 guys, 740 pts /16 /7 = 6.61 ppg per PK (7.02)
Cals' Rule has had expected effect... QB is once again the highest
scoring (non-PK) position in RFL.
RB scoring is way down... to be expected when GComella (2), PHape (3),
Jermaine Williams (2), and OGary (4) have combined for 0 pts in 11
starts! ...and when certain GMs keep starting the wrong RBs week after
week.
WR scoring is off a bit... primarily because of RMoss.
TE scoring is up... primarily because of Booba and Wally's former
protege (Cam Cleeland).
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* RFL GM Profiles: *
********************
Joebob had to spend this past week re-learning how to spell-check.
Also on Joebob's to-do list:
1) Its vs. It's
2) Conjugating the verb ''run''
3) Lets vs. Let's
Extra-credit assignment: Your vs. You're
This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from
this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
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SEASON POINTS LEADERS
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QB
86 Daunte Culpepper (Boobies!)
77 Peyton Manning (Everyone Go Deep)
76 Kurt Warner (Pimps de la Nast)
RB
72 Corey Dillon (Uffdalators)
66 Marshall Faulk (Mahatma's Minions)
63 Priest Holmes (Blue Collar Workers)
62 Edgerrin James (Having a Hard Time)
57 LaDainian Tomlinson (Having a Hard Time)
57 Ricky Williams (Uffdalators)
WR
72 Rod Smith (Mahatma's Minions)
63 Marvin Harrison (Jersey Juggernauts)
60 Terrell Owens (Invasive Species)
42 Cris Carter (Pimps de la Nast)
39 Amani Toomer (Uffdalators)
36 Torry Holt (Boobies!)
TE
36 Bubba Franks (Boobies!)
33 Wesley Walls (Mahatma's Minions)
32 Tony Gonzalez (Fighting Poopy Diapers)
PK
55 Jeff Wilkins (Black Knights of the Charles)
54 John Carney (Uffdalators)
53 Sebastian Janikowski (Dude)
be sure to check:
The Season Points Leaders Page
...for a more complete listing of scoring leaders.
Richard | Advantage | JoePa |
BFavre | ![]() | ABrooks |
EJames | ![]() | FTaylor |
LTomlinson | ![]() | KFaulk |
KevJohnson | ![]() | MMuhammad |
CBradford | ![]() | QIsmail |
MPollard | ![]() | JRiemersma |
MVanderjagt | ![]() | KBrown |
**** Having an easy time, HaHT by 16 ****
7-Short-Changed Bastards of Persia (4-3, 28.9) by 5 over 1-Blue Collar
Workers (1-6, 20.1)
If Brad picks the right WRs, he could have a chance. Ali should win this
one based on the #2 RBs.
8-Fighting Poopy Diapers (2-5, 29.6) by 6 over 2-Mahatma's Minions (7-0,
51.9)
Will Interim Coach Joebob pass his Ram-less test? Baby Brodz will be
bringing his ''B'' game.
6-Dude (5-2, 40.6) by 1 over 4-Boobies! (3-4, 42.7)
Cals' GMing skills will be tested this week. Clark has the talent
advantage - on paper.
14-Cleveland Steamers (3-4, 38.6) by 21 over 9-Pimps de la Nast (0-7,
32.4)
Shiv is up the Charles without either paddle. Vesh will continue his
roll towards a playoff spot.
10-Everyone Go Deep (3-4, 30.0) by 2 over 13-Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids
(2-5, 30.1)
Gary needs his RBs to beat Tiki. Adam could win with big points from the
passing game.
11-Uffdalators (6-1, 42.7) by 4 over 16-Brooding Unicorn Blithe
Elephant (6-1, 44.1)
Kevin and Wang look very even at QB and RB. Kevin's advantages come at
WR, TE and PK.
12-Jersey Juggernauts (4-3, 31.7) by 3 over 15-Invasive Species (4-3,
35.9)
John's sandbagging days are officially over. Is Stan's RB situation
fixed enough to win this one?
©1999-2001 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.
Revised: October 30, 2001